Monday, March 6, 2017

"More of my Crap"

( Here's an old silly story I wrote years ago. Com'on it gave 'me' a chuckle.)

I your all knowing Uncle am good. I mean rat shit in grandma's Apple Pie Good! Truly the Angels piss on my foes, and grant multiple orgasms on my pals.

Indeed so decent a fellow am I. So righteously Good that I walked a blind person across the Brooklyn Bridge. Mind you he didn't seem to want to go. He kept screaming kicking, and clawing.

I had to knock him out.

However I did get the old bastard across the damned bridge! Did he thank me? Ha! All he did was whine complain, and threaten to call the cops.

There's gratitude for ya.

Fortunately, for him, I was in a generous mood, and so forgave him. Anyway having shown mercy to this poor soul. I decided to show even more beneficence. I decided to take my blind, and now highly agitated charge on a trip to Atlantic City! This for a weekend of wild parties, and gambling.

Yet again not one sign of gratitude.

Just his usual screaming, and kicking. I had a deuce of a time getting him into the trunk of the Sydney-mobile. Like the "Bat-mobile" tho' my wheels are well...different.
It's lime green covered with Christmas lights, and Hanukkah candles has bright red wheels moose heads on each fender a big Godzilla head on the roof with strobe light flashing out of each eye, and a CD player in it's forehead blasting a recording of R.Crumb reading Howl.

Well off we went!

Unfortunately when I got to the "Gem of the I-29 Bypass Motel" my companion was not well at all. Aw gees. So I left him next to a parking meter by the bus stop.
That done I went on to have a merry old time gambling, and partying the weekend away!
Now let this be a lesson to all of you. "You just can't please some people"

Blessings on all My Faithful!

Stay Tuned.

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